Pia voted off, Stefano & Paul remain?

It really should come as no surprise to anybody that I am a loyal American Idol viewer and have been for at least 7 years. That being said, I’ve seen a lot of people get up on that stage and sing their hearts out. They can hit every note in multiple octaves and they can belt it out like a true rock star, diva, or whatever else they may be going for. And I’ve seen them voted off just the same, while lesser singers still remain.

Here's looking at you asshole.

As much as quite a few people are surprised that Pia Toscano, whom many believed had a solid shot at winning this season, got sent home, I am not. While it’s undeniable that she was a very good singer, arguably the best singer there, there is more to the show than simply singing. Now if you come at me with, ‘It’s a singing competition,’ I will tell you that, no asshole, it’s not.

If it were simply a singing competition, there would be no need to televise it. Nobody would repeatedly tell Stefano to look at the audience because that’s not part of the singing. It’s part of the performance. But saying that American Idol is simply a performance competition is also inaccurate. Seriously, let’s dissect the title just to simplify things.

American: Pretty self-explanatory.

Idol: Now here’s where the magic really comes into play. It’s neither American Singer nor American Performance. The title is Idol.

Thankfully not American Badass.

I feel like this point is sometimes downplayed and sometimes brought up too much depending on whichever theory favors the contestant in question. Yet, this is how I see: Here is how dictionary.com describes idol: any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion: Madame Curie had been her childhood idol.

Whoever "her" is may be someone to avoid.

But surely, you didn’t come here to read the dictionary. Okay, so idol requires one to be the full package. To be an idol means people have to adore you and to look up to you. I may think Enya is a fantastic singer. But Lady Gaga is an idol, even if her clubs aren’t quite the iron Enya’s are.

So too, Pia in comparison to many of the other Idol contestants. Sure, Haley has had as many god-awful weeks as she has good, sure, she growls and screams more than Jonathon Davis.

This guy.

Okay, so Scotty’s range is minimal at most. Maybe he’s a bit of a one trick pony but as that dude with the glasses that’s been helping everyone this year said about somebody at some point. “It’s a good trick.” What these people have is some personality, something more than their performance for the viewer to remember. This in no way means that I endorse Haley winning the competition, in fact, I would be ashamed with America if that was the case, but I can understand how Pia got left behind. Her songs, though wonderfully sang, did not really break any new ground and let’s be honest. She was dry as a biscuit.

A very hot biscuit nonetheless.

It does still upset me that she has gone home this early however, when Paul and Stefano are still in the game. What is up with that? I hated myself last night for enjoying Paul’s song because every other week since the very beginning I have loathed him. That creepy smile, that creepy voice, those creepy pants, that creepy bouncing thing he does. He’s like some creepy satyr come to steal your children away.

I will not make a dong joke. I will not make a dong joke.

And Stefano? He’s similar in personality to Pia (read boring) but his singing isn’t near as good. Sometimes these’s people’s song choices make me question if they really are 20 something year olds and not just vessels for dried up old singers. Is it wrong to want to hear songs I’ve heard of? Every time Stefano talks I have to suppress the urge to scream Douche! at the top of my lungs.

So to sum up my feelings towards tonight’s “shocking” results show. I was not shocked. Slightly disappointed. Still losing faith in America, but not American Idol, I will continue watching all the same, and not lose a bit of sleep over tonights ruling.

See ya, Pia!

(Sorry, I had to say it)